Greetings fellow members of the vast Gamergate conspiracy. I am pleased to announce the success of most recent step in our #OpDestroyTwitter campaign! As you no doubt recall from the secret meetings, the campaign has already achieved unprecedented success with its first eight stages:
- Phase 1: Tank Twitter’s stock price; sow panic and irrational decision making among executive staff.
- Phase 2: Provoke low-level Twitter #SOCJUS employees into applying suspension and banning rules inconsistently.
- Phase 3: Watch as user uncertainty grows and more and more users disengage with service.
- Phase 4: Manipulate management into high-profile, politically motivated de-verifications.
- Phase 5: Cause mass exodus of experienced Twitter management.
- Phase 6: Trick remaining executives into bizarre Facebook-light proposals for “reinventing” Twitter.
- Phase 7: Watch as Twitter stock price declines further.
- Phase 8: Spread rumors in media that Twitter is frantically looking to be acquired.
And as predicted, the easily-manipulated fools at Twitter have fallen into the next phase of the Gamergate master plan for their destruction:
- Phase 9: Infiltrate Twitter management with expensive #SOCJUS consultants who further alienate users.
Rejoice my comrades; #OpDestroyTwitter is only three short secret phases away from complete success!